Powerline Is An Asshole
by NigelThornberry
Summary: Powerline ruins everybody's lives because he's a cool kid.


"TEVIN. GET YOUR MILLION DOLLAR ASS IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW." Tevin (aka, the mega-star, Powerline) shuddered at the booming voice of his manager. Thoughts of just running the other way flooded his mind when he heard him holler again, "TEVIIIIN! IF YOU'RE NOT IN HERE ON 3, I'LL PERSONALLY CAST YOU INTO HADES!...1….2…", he was cut short as the star stumbled as quickly as he could through the office door, bumping his hip on the edge of the desk. "You-you called me Mr. Dixon, sir?" Tevin struggled to regain his composure. "YOU have A LOT of explaining to do. Last night? You know that little trillion dollar concert we pulled off in LA? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?". Tevin's eyebrow twitched as he suddenly realized why he was being dictated. "Well, everything was going fine, see? And it was the final song, see? We did "Eye 2 Eye!" ya know?" he cleared his throat quickly to continue his explanation, "a-and well, first, this old dude got mixed up in the shocker and just came dancin' in on my act! I-I-I did my best to play it off and improvise until the security showed up, but wouldn't ya know it, some kid went and done-off with the guards, and starts hoggin' my act with that guy! I couldn't do nothin' about it Mr. Dixon! I swear!"

Dixon rubbed his temples, shuffling through stacks of paper. "You see this, kid? These are all complaints and whiny bitches askin' for free refunds. What do you suppose we do about this, Tevin?". A stern gaze shook the soul of the young star, making him wring his hands in nervous discomfort. "Well…gosh, I dunno' sir…what'd you have in mind?" "you want to know what I got in mind? I say we TAKE THAT REFUND MONEY OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK! It might not have been your fault, but unless we compensate these pussies, there'll be no end, and you'll have a biiig gap in your fanbase. You gotta' spend money to make money, kid, and this is how it's gonna' be!"

Tevin slumped out of the office and loaded into his private cab to head home. A disgruntled frown painted his face, making his driver decide not to say anything. "Speed it up already, Jack! I got a lot of shit to do tonight…". Upon arriving at his condominium, Tevin immediately grabbed the phone and dialed a number written on a Starbucks napkin. "Hey, Joey there?...yeah, I got a job. Reeeeal importante, if ya get my drift….", Powerline smoothed his eclectic pompadour back into a more docile lump, "…I need the bio's on those two concert-crasher's last night. You know the ones….kay…see ya". Tevin hung up the phone with a sense of satisfaction, falling into his garnet encrusted swivel chair with a 'P' embroidered on the headrest. "This kid will NOT know what hit his sorry little life…"

Max Goof reminisced about his first date with Roxanne 2 night's ago. She had promised to meet him for dinner the coming Saturday, too. He hoped it could be his chance to reach 2nd base. After all, what else did a 16 year old kid think about besides humping everything in sight? His memories dabbled over to that night he and his dad crashed the final song at the Powerline concert just to impress the girl of his dreams. When the concert was finished and the lights blacked-out and all the fans tiredly shuffled out of the stadium, Powerline stared them down with an undecodable gaze, mouth agape. "Were so sorry about this Mr. Powerline, sir, but you see, this was all just to win the heart of my dream girl, Roxanne. I told her that my dad here used to play in a band with you so I promised I'd be in the last song with you! You gotta understand, sir, please don't call the cops on us!" Max pulled off his most mercy begging gaze. He couldn't believe he had just nearly ruined his favorite superstar's epic concert. Goofy cut in, in a more positive tone," Mr. Powerline, you gotta believe my son here; he only wanted to get the girl. If you gotta punish someone, punish me instead." He made his best macho-stance. Powerline rubbed the back of his head, looking puzzled as fuck at their explanation. "Well…" he said ,"…there aint really anything I can do. It's all up to my boss. But, you guys better get out of her fast before any more guards who might have noticed what just went on come on backstage here!" Max and Goofy exchanged worried glances, and nodded at Powerline, running off out the stage-door, only to be bombarded by fans questioning if they knew Powerline's phone number.

That was then and this is now, Max thought. He really wished he had more time to talk with Powerline, but he's happier to have not gotten caught and winning Roxanne's affections. He smiled to himself and decided to call her up just to talk; she was his girl now, he might as well chew the fat. Max picked up the phone and punched in her number…ringring…..ringring….."Hello?" "Roxanne! Hi! It's uh, It's Max! I just wanted to see how things were going." "Oh, hi Max! Well, everything's just fine by me. Tomorrow's daddy's birthday, so I have to find him something nice later at the mall. Want to tag along?" Max grinned ear to ear, " well, sure! Sounds rad! I'll uh, tell my dad I'm going out and maybe we can get a shake afterwards, my treat?" "Aw, your so sweet, Max! I'll see you at 3 then! Bye!" "Bye, Roxanne" . Max jolted up and ran to tell his dad that he was going out. 20 minutes passed and Max had yet to find his father anywhere around the house. Giving up and assuming he was out shopping, he left a note on the fridge and headed out the door.

Powerline napped on his cashmere sofa when his phone rang. "Yello. You got something for me?...oh really? Hehehe sounds good to me!...oooh? that little girlfriend he was talking about?...I gotchya. I got something in mind already…"

The date had finished and Max was swooning. He walked up to the porch and jiggled the doorknob. It was locked. His father always left the door unlocked when Max was out. "Weird." He thought as he was forced to take out his keys. Stepping inside, not a light was on. "Daaaaad, I'm home! Why's it so dark?...dad?...dad?..." Max got an uneasy feeling in his gut. He flicked on the kitchen light, and the note remained on the fridge. "Dad always takes the notes off the fridge…". He ran upstairs and checked every room. "He…he's still not anywhere to be found! Just what's going on around here?" Max felt a cool breeze drift in through a cleanly opened window. There was a note nailed to the windowsill. Max reluctantly picked up the note and read it aloud,

"_You think it's fun to steal the spotlight? It'll be fun to steal yours. Laughter turns to tears."_

He stumbled backwards onto his dad's bed. Had his father really been kidnapped? By who? Who would do something like this? Why him? His life had been going so wonderfully and now this? Max picked up the phone and called 911, "Hello, 911, please state your emergency and location." "HELLO? My dad…he's been kidnapped, I think! He's gone, and there was a threatening note on my window, and….hello? HELLO?...they hung up on me! The cops hung up on me!...or, maybe someone else did…". Max panicked. He didn't think he could sleep until his dad was back and safe. Suddenly, the phone rang, Max answered with lightning speed, "Hello! Dad, is that you?..." "No, I aint your daddy. Or the po-leece. Hehe, I'm the guy that's gonna get all his money back for YOUR little fuck up. All I gotta tell you now is to watch your ass, oh and, I'll take good care of your girl, hahaha!" "…that voice….Pow…Powerline?"…just like the the phone disconnected. "No way..NO WAY…my dad was kidnapped by Powerline! What the fuck!" Max shouted, most likely alarming the neighbors. "And what did he mean about Roxanne? Oh god, he's gonna kidnap her too! This is all my fault! I gotta go get her!"

Roxanne sat on her bed, reading a magazine and listening to Wham!. Her father was out working late on his construction job, he wouldn't be back for a few hours. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "It's 7 at night, who could that be?" she sat up and went down the hallway to the door. Upon opening it, she covered her mouth and made a small scream. "Hello, little lady."

"POWER….POWERLINE! WHAT…WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" her mind fogged at the sudden fangirl excitement. "Please, please. Call me Tevin. I'm just stopping over. That Max kid of yours told me all about you! Just figured I'd come and meet ya face to face! How do ya do?" Tevin gingerly picked up her petit hand, kissing it lightly. Roxanne's face went ablaze as she smacked her face ,"this is a dream, a dream, a dream…" He bent down on his knee and stared into her eyes with the best smolder he could muster up ,"I'm afraid it's not, baby girl! I gotta say, you've got some gorgeous little eyes there". Roxanne giggled, covering her eyes, "ooh, why are you teasing me, Tevin? Hehe!" "baby girl, I'm LOVIN' how you're sayin my name there. Wanna go out and get some ice-cream with Powerline?", Roxanne was at a loss for words, "you want to take ME on a date?...are you serious right now?" she slipped her hair behind her ear, "why not? I came here all the way from LA for you." "you…you did?..well, I guess I could go. Daddy wont be back for a while…let me get my purse!" she turned, when he grabbed her hand, "Baby girl, it's. MY. Treat." He gave her a cocky grin and led her out the door.

Max sprinted to her house, banging on the door ,"ROXANNE! ROXANNE PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!" he gave up when his fists started to ache from banging, "…no…Roxanne. Not you too…" He crumpled into a heap of grief on her porch. He fucked up. BIG time. He didn't know what to do. Obviously, the cops had been paid a large sum to keep their mouths shut, so there wasn't any use turning to them. Max believed he had failed, and he was most likely next. How could his idol be so cruel? So heartless?

Tevin stared at Roxanne as she rambled on and on about her bland life; they had sat in the very back of the ice-cream parlor to keep out of the sight of any stray fangirls or paparazzi. He tried his best to keep from glaring at her cleavage. "…Tevin? Hehehee, are you listening?" she smiled ,"I cant believe I'm on a date with THE Powerline! This is like a fantasy come true. But…I feel kind of bad…I mean…I'm Max's girlfriend." She looked away from his penetrating gaze, ashamed of her actions. Tevin cupped her chin to face him, "Roxanne. I think it's time you forget about that zero, and get with THIS." He leaned across the table and kissed her as tenderly as possible, "Roxanne; I want you to be my girl." She was in such awe, she couldn't formulate proper words, only little mutters of gibberish came out. "Okay." Was all she could manage. "Why don't we ditch this joint and go back to my hotel?"

Roxanne slowly nodded, still mesmerized by the moment.

The phone rang. It was Roxanne. "Max, it's me. I'm so sorry. I've run away with Powerline. He asked me to be with him, and I agreed. I only loved you for knowing him. He's all I ever really cared about!...I'm sorry. Go on without me. Goodbye Max."

Max held his head in his hands and sobbed.

He saw it in his mind.

He thought he would be the one to be Roxanne's first. He thought she would be his. He thought they would be together forever…his high-school sweetheart.

He could imagine it all. His beloved idol betraying him. His lover betraying him.

He was running his fingers down her bare back. Kissing special places. Making her feel things he could have made her feel. She was moaning HIS name instead of Max's. His heart never felt so heavy.

Powerline fucked her as he would any other groupie girl. She wasn't anything special, but she didn't know any better, and didn't seem to mind his blind lust. Roxanne dug her nails into his dark skinned back, as he thrusted wildly, leaving clusters of hickies about her breasts and neck. "I…I'm going to…" she flung her head back onto the pillow. She felt Powerline become tense and she felt a growing heat. He groaned and plunged deeply, shooting deep inside her. The two of them collapsed on the bed in a sweaty mass in the darkness. The sound of sirens echoed in the street. "I…you could have just gotten me pregnant…" she placed her palm on her forehead, snapping out of her fantasy. Powerline stood up and walked over to the hotel fridge, opening a bottle of vodka and downing half the bottle, "Good for you."

Max knew he was never going to see his father or Roxanne again. He had no other family. PJ couldn't do anything, and he would probably die if he lived with Pete. He went to the shed and grabbed a long rope and stool. He tied a sturdy noose to the beams of his living room.

After today, he wouldn't have to care.

After today, he wouldn't feel the pain.

After today, he wouldn't have to be motherless. Fatherless. Loveless. Friendless.

This was the end of the Goof Troop.

"MAXEY, I'M HOME!" the door swung open, and Goofy walked in. He had been on an all night date with Miss Sylvia Marpole. Words could not describe the horror that fell over him upon seeing his son's limp, hanging body.


End file.
